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Stroller vs. baby carrier

This post comes from my personal experience. In short: hey, future mom or dad, don’t use a fucking baby carrier. Don’t listen to the load of bullshit written or spoken by this new pediatric niche, trying to sell you junk as baby food.

But why am I so angry? Because I saw with my own child what means this shit called baby carriers.

First of all, let’s get a fact: children’s carriage methods are nothing but an adaptation around social conditions of the parents. There is no such thing as a “natural way” of carrying a baby. The Egyptians, the ancient Greeks, the Romans, the Chinese, the barbaric nomads, the Indians, the Tartars of Genghis Khan etc. all developed different methods of carrying the babies, all adapted to the social context of their people, tribe, family etc.

Take a look to some samples: Navajo cradleboardInuit amauti, and many more. Nomadic gypsies (seen with my eyes) carry their children in baskets, attached to the charriot. Like the modern baby car seats.

All these methods have nothing in common with love,  tender, attachement, care and other industrial-era moral values and feelings. They are only working methods of carrying a child by a working mom or a working family.

But we are living a new era now. We are living now in industrial and/or post-industrial nations. Moms don’t need anymore to carry and to work simultaneously, like african or indian or prehistoric era moms. This is why the human intelligence developed, for the industrial era moms, the stroller. The stroller is the natural way of carrying your child in the XXI-st century!

Child won’t see, hear, eat, drink, poo or (later, in his/her twenties) fuck better if carried. I can assure you that Gary Kasparov or Judith Polgar weren’t babycarried. They have grown up in strollers (this was the custom way of growing up children in communist countries). And still they are geniuses.

However – and this is why I am so angry – there are some side effects of baby carrying your child like a IX-th century mom. These are my findings:

- When the baby is very little (up to 1-2 months) all is well and fun. Attachement parenting, blah-blah, blah-blah. The baby weights like a cat: 3-5 kilos. And there is no need to stay many hours outside. The baby is still very little, doctors recommend only 1/2 – 1 hours in fresh air, and this – only after 1 month.
- Around 3-4 months, the first alarm signs appear: the baby hates any surface. She only wants to be carried or to stay next to mummy. Being too little to crawl, she needs to be carried in order to be happy. And the “attachement” parenting means that she will start crying when the mom will go to piss. And it weighs now around 6 kilos. And outside walkings start being a painful experience for the mom. The child needs more and more fresh air, but the mom cannot carry 6 kilos for hours. She is a post-industrial mom, not an African mother!
-  The alarm continues: at 5 months, when she weighs over 6 kilos, the baby refuses the stroller. Unfortunately, she is already used with the carriers. She cries so loud when putted in, that it is impossible to use the stroller. The mom becomes the prisoner of the sling and carrier. At 1.57 cm height, this is for sure a “pleasure”. Daddy? Well, daddy works. He must earn money. Yes, he is strong enough to carry the baby for several hours in open and fresh air, but he cannot leave his work and his salary in order to carry the baby. Because we are a fucking post-industrial family, not a family of hunter-gatherers! As for the baby, she already became what the pediatricians called “a little tyrant”. And there is nothing to do. She is too small to understand that it would be better for her mom’s back to stay in stroller, not in carrier. We simply have to wait until she will be able to walk.
-  At 7 months mom develops stomachal troubles. Cause? Vertebral column deformity. It’s not easy to carry around a 7 kilos pack. The little tyrant is happy, though.
- At 10 months we cannot stay outside, in fresh air, more than 1 hour. The baby is too heavy even for the daddy’s back. When put in the stroller she simply cries. She can cry for hours. And hours. And hours. That’s why the baby spends most of the time in the house, playing with toys and books, instead of staying in fresh air. Fortunately, she is a good crawler and in few weeks she will be able to walk.  A new era will come!

In conclusion: if you don’t want to become a prehistoric mom / dad / family use since the child’s birth what’s the proper way of carrying the child for our modern, industrial / post-industrial life style: the stroller.  The stroller makes both parents and children happy. Hundreds of millions of children have grow up happy since the invention of the stroller. There is no need to be afraid of it!

And a final word: then why, if the baby-carrier is so unpleasant, my wife decided to use it instead of the stroller? The answer is simple: because of the hype. Because this is our first baby and she wanted only the best for our little girl. And the “baby carriers” are the latest trend, must-have, fashion and so on. And because nobody says definitely something against these carriers.

Anyway, if you really want to use a baby-carrier, my advice is to make the baby get used firstly to the stroller, than to the baby-carrier. Not the other way around! I have seen babies that preferred both strollers and baby-carriers, but they were since the very beginning used to the strollers.

Enjoy your… parenthood!

Is October 26 the day of Panda 2.6 update?

Are we in the middle of the Panda 2.6 update? Ironically, today is October 26.

‘Cause I’m seeing right now a huge improvement on one website that was quite severely penalized by Panda 2.5.

The only change that I made on it was to improve the bounce rate, as I was counselling here (yup, with some simple design tricks anyone can improve this parameter). Before the Panda 2.5 the bounce rate was constantly around 85%, now it is constantly around 75%. Of course, by improving the bounce rate automatically I improved the page views stats, too.

Now, since this morning, I’m seeing on this website some 25-30% extra traffic, which is very encouraging. In fact, taking into account that Panda updates are coming approximately once per month, it is about time for Google to rollout the Panda 2.6 update.

In the next hours and days we’ll find out more about this.

Google Panda 2.5: how to recover?

Trying to find out some valuable advice regarding the recovery after Panda 2.5, one will find a lot of bullshit advices on the lot of blogs of the so-called SEO experts: have quality content, don’t spam Google, don’t enter in spammy link schemes etc.

The usual bullshit. Blah blah.

Unfortunately, the Panda update is much more difficult to deal with, because, as I said here, Google started to consider into its algorithm some usage factors that normally aren’t under the webmaster’s direct influence. Technically, to recover from Panda you should:

  • try to keep the users more time on your website; try to engage them somehow (maybe with movies?… online games?… p%rn pictures?…);
  • try to make the users to visualise more pages; more page-views / user is better (you should split the content into several sub-pages – I know this sounds totally anti-Panda 1.0, but it seems that Google now has a different view than 1 year ago);
  • try to make the user to return to your website several times after the initial visit coming from a search; with every search visit, Google places cookies in the user’s browser and then tracks the returning rate, which then uses as an indicator of a website’s value;
  • try to lower the bounce-rate.

Don’t forget: Google has a lot of usage tracking mechanisms. Analytics, Chrome browser, search cookies, social media sharing monitoring etc. … you really can’t trick Google into thinking that your website is more beloved by the users than it really does.

Good luck with your Panda 2.5 recovery!